2004-07-02 - 10:27 a.m.THE COBBLER'S KIDS
The cobbler’s kids have no shoes. But they have clean dishes.
It’s true. My husband is a contractor, yet our house still looks like the neighborhood crack house it was before a drug bust cleared out 24 of Atlanta’s best and brightest forcing the owner to sell. We got this great deal as first-time home buyers through FHA which allowed us to put no money down, get an additional rehab loan, AND postpone payments for four months so we could remove the crack pipes and used needles from the children’s room before moving in. Because John is a contractor, he was able to apply for special permission to do the work himself. We figured we could save some money that way. All this might have been enough for most people, but not for us.
We’ve been there for five years now and have given up. We’re going to try to sell it, and if we can just get enough to pay off the bank loan I’ll feel like we have come out alright. That is, except for the asbestos in our lungs. And the lead in our blood. And the toxic mold in our brains.
Where was I?
Well, after five years of “renovating” I now have kitchen cabinets, countertops, and…drum roll…A SINK! Yes, I have leapt into the nineteenth century with the luxury of this modern convenience. No more germ-infested dish bucket on a wobbly work surface, no more washing dishes in the bathroom, and no more paper plates.
So I had a party last night to celebrate. Eight women came over for wine and fabulous hors d'oeuvres (if I do say so my damn self) made in my ultra modern kitchen. Did I mention it has a sink?
John’s spider sense told him to stay far away, and the kids were in the study watching "The Triplets of Belleville." No one even knew they were there until the movie was over and they came out to say goodnight before getting into their pajamas and going to bed. My friends are amazed at the seemingly hypnotic power I have over my children. I’ve even got “the look.” Since they were so good all night, I let them forage among the appetizers. They’re five and six and uber creative, so they made some snack-creatures out of grapes, cherry tomatoes, baby carrots and celery sticks all held together with toothpicks. Then they brushed their teeth and tucked themselves in bed because they’re cool that way.
Now why do I have such a headache this morning? I’m sure it’s just lead poisoning.
care to comment?